What are you willing to give up

I’ve heard this a lot, “I do all the dishes. I wash all the laundry. I work all day. I make dinner every night…..What do I get out of all of this? I am shown no appreciation for anything I do!” And, as a matter of fact, I used to say all the same things, and then some. It was as though there was some invisible tick sheet, or tally sheet. There were, for sure, some unsaid expectations, “since I’m doing all of this, he should be doing all of that.”

That’s not exactly how marriage works. It’s a fun idea though, and one that does come to life…sorta.

Let me explain, I see it go more like this, "One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it." Marriage is all about giving\serving and expecting nadda in return. Giving up the idea of perfection. The idea that the perfect man, or woman, just “knows” you.

I lived in this romantic bubble believing as the years went on Ron would, and should, know all of my loves and hates. He would finish my sentences, bring me breakfast in bed on my birthday, Id come home from work and he would have dinner cooked and ready and tell me to just sit back and relax, and there would be endless nights of my feet on his lap and me dozing off to amazing foot rubs……You know, he would basically be a perfect mind reading robot. (Yes, I am sitting here with a big grin on my face at the sheer silliness) Through the years I had no idea I was putting this weight on his shoulders. No person can meet all of our expecations.

Maybe a robot can…and isnt that were the world is going these days…..

Now it’s time for the initial question, what are you willing to give up?

If you want the “romantic” relationship there must be some give. What I’ve found is that as I’ve paid more attention to what my husband’s needs are, and worked to meet them, the more my needs have been met naturally.

The start of this process is very simple.

Ask them. How can I be a better wife/husband to support you?

The phrase, “marriage is all about give and take” needs to be tossed out. That is not what marriage is about at all. Marriage is about recognizing your spouse’s needs, being empathetic to those needs and being selfless in action.

 Marriage is not 50/50, it is 100/100.

"Until next time, stay Anchored in Love & Guided by Faith!

Perfectly Imperfect,

Sam